Pay It Forward:
Note: the best way to run this program is to show the entire movie or at least sections of it. If that cannot be done, use the description of the book provided below.
(Please make sure to screen the movie before showing it to children. The movie is rated PG-13).
Read the description of the book (movie) to the group.
Eighth-grader Trevor is challenged by his social-studies teacher to do something that will change the world. And he does. His rule is to do one very good deed for three different people, telling them that rather than paying him back, they are to "pay it forward" to three others. When the numbers grow exponentially, The Movement starts and the world is changed
Catherine Ryan Hyde's Pay It Forward takes as its premise the bumper-sticker phrase "Think Globally, Act Locally" and builds a novel around it. The hero of her story is young Trevor McKinney, a 12-year-old whose imagination is sparked by an extra-credit assignment in Social Studies: "Think of an idea for world change, and put it into action." Trevor's idea is deceptively simple: do a good deed for three people, and in exchange, ask each of them to "pay it forward" to three more. "So nine people get helped. Then those people have to do twenty-seven.... Then it sort of spreads out." Trevor's early attempts to get his project off the ground seem to end in failure: a junkie he befriends ends up back in jail; an elderly woman whose garden he tends dies unexpectedly. But even after the boy has given up on his plan, his acts of kindness bear unexpected fruit, and soon an entire movement is underway and spreading across America.
Trevor, meanwhile, could use a little help himself. His father walked out on the family, and his mother, Arlene, is fighting an uphill battle with alcoholism, poor judgment in men, and despair. When the boy's new Social Studies teacher, Reuben St. Clair, arrives on the scene, Trevor sees in him not only a source of inspiration for how to change the world, but also the means of altering his mother's life. Yet Reuben has his own set of problems. Horribly scarred in Vietnam, he is reluctant to open himself up to the possibility of rejection--or love. Indeed, the relationship between Arlene and Reuben is central to the novel as these two damaged people learn to "pay forward" the trust and affection Trevor has given them.
Hyde tells her tale from many different perspectives, using letters, diary entries, and first- and third-person narratives from the various people whose lives Trevor's project touches. Jerry Busconi, for example, the addict Trevor tried to help, one night finds himself talking a young woman out of jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge:
I'm a junkie, Charlotte. I'm always gonna be a junkie. I ain't never gonna be no fine, upstanding citizen. But then I thought, hell. Just pay it forward anyway. Kid tried to help me. Okay, it didn't work. Still, I'm trying to help you. Maybe you'll jump. I don't know. But I tried, right? But let me tell you one thing. I woke up one morning and somebody gave me a chance. Just outta nowhere. It was like a miracle. Now, how do you know that won't happen to you tomorrow?
At the end of the movie Trevor is stabbed and killed by a local bully. What transpires is the amazing scene of the multitudes of people who come to offer ther condolences. Only then do we realize just how much he accomplished.
The following questions are meant to stir up discussion and debate. The quotes chosen were done in order to: A. highlight the importance of chessed and B. Show that while we all have a responsibility to do chessed, even if we cannot save the world, we can and must do our part.
Questions:
1. Do you think the plan of paying it forward is realistic? What do the rabbis mean when they say: “All who save one life, it is as if they have saved an entire world”?
2. What does the above described scene teach us about the nature of acts of kindness? Does it really matter if they “work” or not?
What does the statement from Pirkei Avot: “It is not upon you to finish the entire job, but nor are you free from trying.”
3. Usually we explain the statement “a mitzvah leads to another mitzvah” to mean that if we do one mitzvah we become conditioned to do Gods will and then do other mitzvoth. How may we reinterpret this statement in light of “Pay it Forward“?
4. In the book/movie Trevor has his own problems to deal with. Even so, he takes the initiative to help others.
5. Are there such things are “Big (important) Mitzvot” or Small (unimportant) Mitzvot? What do the rabbis mean when they say: “Treat a hard mitzvah the same way we treat an easy mitzvah?” (There is a book called Five People You Meet in Heaven, about when we die and go to Heaven, and you meet five people who had major affect on your life. The story describes how it could very well be people you had little do with or didn't even know. Their small act of kindness may have changed your life without you even knowing. We never know the impact of our actions and how far reaching they may be. One act of Chesed can have a trickle effect to others in various situations)
6. What about our time? Doesn't Chesed take away time? Consider this: “Calculate the cost of a mitzvah against its reward” (Pirkei Avot 2:1) . Remember, reward can mean reward for the mitzvah or the benefit your mitvah brings to others.
Read the story below about Daniel and Halana wanting to take Chani to Israel. See what a few minutes of time spent meant to them.
We decided a few weeks ago, to see if we could take a quick trip to Israel. We wanted to take Chani to the Kotel, and to some Gedolim, and to see and play with her cousins, etc. We had a brief window of opportunity in medical treatments and made the arrangements to go. Then Chani got an infection and was in hospital so the trip seemed like it was not going to happen. We wanted to travel on a Tuesday and thank G-d after many discussions with doctors, she was let out of the hospital (with home IV antibiotics) on Monday, the day before the trip. Another obstacle was the problem of hanging and IV on an ELAL plane (would not have gone over well). That was solved as the people in the hospital cared enough to help us arrange a special pump for the antibiotics so we wouldn't have to hang it. SO... after finally getting all the medical clearance to go on this special trip, on the Friday before the trip (supposed to leave on Tuesday), we somehow realized that Eli (our 1-year old) had been issued a 1-year emergency US passport when we left Israel a year earlier, and the passport was going to expire the day before the trip. I was so disappointed to think that after all the medical clearance, that Eli's passport was going to stop us. And with security today, there was no way they would let us travel with an expired passport. I called up and found out that I need to bring Eli's birth certificate or report of birth abroad, along with money and pictures and parents passports. The only problem being that we did not have his birth certificate, and never had it to begin with. I called up the office of consular birth abroad in Washington. The woman told me "No problem, we can help you get the report of birth abroad. Processing time takes 4 to 8 weeks. My heart dropped. After all the efforts, to hear that, it just knocked me down. I had 3 days, not 4-8 weeks. I asked to speak to someone else in their office. I was transferred to another woman. She tried to help me and look into Eli's situation. She told me that she was not allowed to tell me,but she said she sees something on her screen (I understood from her that Eli's certificate was no longer in Israel and that she had access to it in Washington). I immediately (on Friday) fedexed her a money order, notarized letter, etc. She received my letter on Monday morning, she immediately fedexed the birth certificate back to me. I received it Tuesday morning, went to the Passport office Tuesday afternoon, and was on a plane Tuesday evening. Unbelievable! And all due to this woman - I believe to be one of the Chasidei Umos Ha-olam. She could have so easily just turned us away like the first woman, but she made a decision to try and help. She has no idea and cannot possibly understand what she did for us. That trip to Israel was so special, for as a family and for Chani. Chani felt good on the trip and enjoyed every moment. We took her to the Kotel, and to Gedolim, and to her cousins, and to lots of fun. We arrived back in NY on Thursday morning,and on that Shabbat Chani already starting deteriorating. She passed away the following Tuesday (1.5 weeks after the special trip). We just squeezed the special trip in, and it would not have been possible if for not for the Pay-it-Forward like act of real true Chesed of some anonymous women in Washington. This special woman has no idea today how she affected our lives and how she gave us such special memories fromour trip in Israel with Chani shich we will cherish forever. Bottomline is you never know the impact of your actions and of small acts of kindness.
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