Chana Liora Rosenfield

Welcoming Guests

STRANGERS IN YOUR HOME

Depending on how one feels, people either feel obligated or delighted to be/or have guests at your home. The social conventions of invitations, RSVP's, and thank you notes, at times, can feel oppressive. One may even ask, "What is the purpose of these rituals?" Yet, these conventions do endure and most of us, sooner or later, will be bound by them. Having guests, and being a guest is a fundamental element of all societies.

We will begin with relationships to those with whom are familiar and then slowly progress to the "other".

In chapter 12 of Genesis, we first meet Abram as God gives him the command to leave his home and venture to the promised land, where his descendants will become a great nation, even though he does not yet have children. In chapter 18, Abram who has been renamed Abraham is visited by three messengers who inform him that his elderly wife Sarah will have a son.

In the following Biblical passage God visits Abraham when Abraham was recovering from his self-inflicted circumcision.

Genesis Chapter 18

The Lord appeared to him [Abraham] by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot. Looking up, he saw three men standing near him. As soon as he saw them, he ran from the entrance of the tent to greet them and bowing to the ground, he said, "My lords, if it please you do not go on past your servant. Let a little water be brought, bathe your feet and recline under the tree. And let me fetch you a morsel of bread that you may refresh yourselves; then, go on--seeing you have come your servant's way."...

Your Genesis Navigator

1. How do you understand the sudden appearance of the three men? Was their appearance connected to the verse that says that the Lord appeared to Abraham? If so, how?
2. What is the most plausible reading to you? Did the Lord appear through the sppearance of the three men, or were they two distinct occurrences in the narrative?

Now, based on your personal experience:
1. What is the purpose of inviting guests?
2. Who do you invite as guests? Have you ever invited strangers home? Why or why not? If you have, how did you meet these strangers?
3. What do you do with guests?
4. Have you ever not been invited to an event to which you were expecting an invitation? How did you feel? How did you respond?
5. What is the connection between welcoming guests and building community?

The following passage is from the Talmud which is--among other things--a compilation of oral traditions which interpret the Torah. The Talmud is organized in an associative manner. Just as when you let your mind wander and you randomly connect one topic to another, the Talmud imitates this process.

The Talmud is comprised of two sections: The Mishnah and the Gemara. The Mishna is a tersely worded collection of legal concepts which is interpreted and expanded upon in the Gemara. Usually a Mishna is only several lines long while the Gemara's commentary on that Mishnah can go on for pages.

The following Mishna is concerned with weighing the value of preserving the sabbath (Shabbat, in Hebrew) as the day of rest versus making room to receive guests and/or students. It deals with what is permissible and what is forbidden to do on Shabbat. There are also categories of activity that are technically permissible, but are so strenuous that they violate the spirit of the day.

To get an idea on how the Talmud works watch what happens in the following sources. The Mishna incidentally mentions the issue of guests but the Gemara will use this as an opportunity to speak about the centrality of welcoming guests in Jewish tradition. What was incidentally mentioned in the Mishna becomes a central theme in the Gemara.

Mishnah Shabbat

[One is allowed] to remove four or five large bundles of straw or wheat:
1. [in order to make room] for guests [on Shabbat] and
2. to [prevent people] from leaving [because of over crowding] the learning community on Shabbat.

Babylonian Talmud, The Gemara Tractate Shabbat 127/b

Commenting on the line in the Mishna: [in order to make room] for guests [on shabbat]:

Rabbi Yochanan said, "Welcoming guests is as great as rising early to go to the Beit Midrash (communal study hall), as it is taught in the Mishnah: "[in order to make room] for guests [on Shabbat] and to [prevent people] from leaving the Beit Midrash." Rabbi Dimi from Nahardea said, "Welcoming guests is greater, because the Mishna teaches it first and then talks about making room for students."...

Your Talmud Navigator

1. What does Rabbi Yochanan teach, and how does he use the Mishna to support his point? How does Rabbi Dimi's teaching differ? Explain how the Mishna supports his point.
2. What is the relationship between studying Torah in the Beit Midrash and inviting guests home? Why are they compared?

And now, on with our story....

...Rabbi Yehuda said in the name of Rav, "Welcoming guests is greater than receiving the face of the Shechina (the Divine presence) as it is written, [about Abraham, Genesis 18] "My lords, if it please you do not go on past your servant. Let a little water be brought..."

Rabbi Elazar said, "See how the ways of the Holy One are not like the ways of flesh and blood. Our custom would never allow a child to tell his elder, "Wait until I return to you," while we see that the Holy One did so [waited until Abraham went to serve food to the guests], as it is written, "My lords, if it please you do not go on past your servant. Let a little water be brought..."

Your Talmud Navigator

1. Which reading of Genesis 18 does Rabbi Yehuda, in the name of Rav adopt? (See Page 14).
2. According to Rabbi Yehuda in the name of Rav, what does the story about Abraham going out to greet the three men teach us?
3. What does Rav Elazar learn from this story about the nature of God?

The Maharal, Rabbi Yehuda Loew of Prague was a late medieval (1525-1609) mystic, philosopher and mathematician. How does he understand the Talmudic passage we just studied?

The Maharal, Pathways of the World Chptr. 4

Understand this the following way: One welcomes guests because one honors the human who was created in the image of God, and this is considered to be a great thing, like rising early to go to the Beit Midrash which one does to honor the Torah. However, when Rav Dimi says that welcoming guests is greater than rising early to the Beit Midrash, he understands it the following way: Rising early to study Torah is the way we honor Torah, but when you welcome a guest it is tantamount to honoring God. For when one brings a guest into their home and honors him because he was created in the image of God, then it is as if they are honoring the Divine presence Herself, which is greater than honoring the Torah. Know that these statements only refer to welcoming guests who are new faces to one's home. Remember, however, that Rav said that welcoming guests is even greater than receiving the face of the Divine presence. His statement is consistent, for none can encounter the face of God directly as it is written, "No human may see My face and live." (Exodus 32:20) So, indirect contact cannot be compared to what happens when one welcomes and honors a guest who appears as a new face and the host attaches himself completely to this image of God. So take these words in deeply, for there will be a time when you finally understand the difference between welcoming guests and receiving the Divine Presence, and now is not the time to explain any more of this to you.

Your Talmud Navigator...Again

1. Review Genesis 1:27. This is the source of the idea that humans are created in the image of God.
2. How does the Maharal support Rav Dimi's statement that receiving a guest is greater than receiving the shechina? Why do you think the Maharal emphasizes that this must be a new face?
3. Make a chart showing how each of the sources we studied in this unit imagines the relationship between the host, the guest, and God.

The Mitzvah of Sensitivity

Your Chumash Talmud Navigator

The Talmud consists of two parts. The Mishnah (Hebrew for teaching) and the Gemara (aramaic for learning). The Mishnah is a terse compendium of legal concepts presented through specific cases and their corresponding positions. It was canonized in the third century by Rabbi Yehudah Hanassi (the prince).

Subsequent discussions which expand, digress from and disagree with the issues in the Mishnah are recorded in the Gemara, which was canonized in the sixth century.

The Talmudic text we are studying today grapples with the meaning of the following three verses. The first verse appears in the Mishnah and the other two verses appear the Gemara. Before you start to read the Mishnah, take a look at these three verses and ponder what new idea each one gives you.

Exodus 22:20

You shall not aggrieve a stranger or oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt

Leviticus 25:14

When you sell property to your neighbor, or buy any from your neighbor, you shall not aggrieve one another

Leviticus 25:17

Do not aggrieve one another, but fear your God; for I am the Lord your God

Now witness how the Talmud through its close reading learns different things from each of these verses.

Babylonian Talmud Bava Metziya 58b-59a

Mishnah: Just as [it is illicit] to aggrieve someone in business, it is also [illicit to] aggrieve someone with words. One should not say, "How much does this item cost" if he does not mean to purchase it. If a person had once led a sinful life, one should not say, "Remember what you used to do." If he was the grandchild of heathens, one should not say, "Remember how your ancestors behaved." As it is written: "You shall not aggrieve the stranger, and you should not oppress him." (Exodus 22:20)

Your Mishnah Navigator:
Ona'at Devarim, the Mitzvah of Sensitivity

The word "ona'ah" (translated as aggrieve) is used in two contexts, the financial and the personal. Just as price gouging is considered "ona'ah", so, too, are the examples elucidated in the Mishnah above.

If one price gouges one is taking unfair advantage over another. How does this form of ona'ah relate to the "ona'ah" where one asks the store clerk the price of something he has no intention to purchase?

Now, what do these examples have in common with the person who makes another recall the sins of his past?

Can we come up with a working definition of Ona'ah?

The Gemara which comments and expands upon the Mishnah opens its discussion with an alternative tradition which was excluded from the Mishnah, but was recorded at the same time. When Rabbi Yehudah Hanassi compiled the Mishnah there were many rabbinic discussions that were excluded from his collection. Often times the later editors of the Talmud will bring those discussions which may either complement, expand, or take issue with what was stated in the Mishnah. This extra mishnaic material is called a Beraitha. Take a look at the Beraitha's explication of the verse "Do not aggrieve one another." Compare the examples listed in the Beraitha with the Mishnah and continue to create a definition of Ona'ah. (Now, remember those verses in Leviticus? The Talmud is about to deal with them.)

Gemara: The rabbis taught: "Do not aggrieve one another..." (Leviticus 25:17) Is the verse referring to aggrieving someone with words or is it referring to aggrieving someone in business? When an [earlier] verse states, "When you sell to your neighbor, or buy property from him [do not aggrieve one another.]" (Ibid:14) Here it is clear the context is referring to business, so therefore the other verse must teach us about aggrieving someone with words...

Your Navigator Offers a Hint

Look up the verses and see them in their original context. Why do the rabbis assume that the verse in Leviticus 25:17 cannot be referring to business practices? Now, back to the Beraitha.

Gemara cont'...How does one aggrieve someone with words? If the person had a sinful past, don't say to him, "Remember how you used to behave." If he was the child of converts, don't say to him, "Remember, how your ancestors behaved. If he, himself, was a convert who had come to learn Torah, don't say to him, "The mouth that once feasted on foods is coming to learn the Torah that was uttered from the mouth of the Mighty One?

Or, if someone fell ill, or he had buried a child, don't speak to him in the way that Job's friends spoke to him. As it is written: "Is not your piety your confidence, your integrity your hope? Think now what innocent man ever perished..." (Job 4:6-7) If donkey drivers asked a person for straw, he should not tell them to "Go to so and so's for he sells straw for animals."-- when he knows that the person has never sold it. Rabbi Yehuda says: One should not even cast his eyes on a purchase if he does not have the cash on hand, for this is something that is only known in the heart, and everything that remains in the heart bears the injunction, "[Do not aggrieve one another] and you shall fear the Lord your God..." (Leviticus 25:17)

Your Navigator Again

As the Talmud struggles to give us a definition of ona'ah, it brings statements from many different rabbis, do these statements complement or contradict each other? The following Talmudic passage segues from defining ona'ah to a related issue. Note when that transition occurs. After they deal with the related issue they return to our issue of ona'ah. Note when you return to our issue of ona'ah. The gemara is sequenced associatively, much the way our minds work naturally. When we're tooling down the highway, we start with one thought and then gradually go to the next...and the next...and the next...until...finally...you say, "How'd I start thinking about that?

Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai said: "Aggrieving someone with words is worse than aggrieving someone in business. For when the verse is referring to business, the verse does not enjoin us to fear the Lord while when the verse refers to aggrieving someone with words, it also tells us to fear the Lord. Rabbi Elazar said: "Aggrieving with words harms the body, while aggrieving in business only harms his property." Rav Nachmani said, "One is possible to respond to while the other is not possible to respond to." The Tana taught before Rabbi Yitzchak: "Anyone who blanches the face [humiliates] of his fellow in public, is seen to have spilled his blood." Rabbi Yitzchak said, "Well spoken, For I have seen the redness drain from a person's face and he becomes pale."

Abayye said to Rav Dimi: "What are they most careful about in the west [in Israel]?" He said to him: "Making a face blanch. For Rabbi Hanina said:

"Everyone goes to Gehennom except for three."

"Does he really mean everyone goes to Gehennom?

Rather he must mean everyone who does go to gehennom ascends from there except for three, and these are the three:

1. Anyone who has relations with another man's wife.
2. Anyone who humiliates a person in public.
3. Anyone who calls someone by a disparaging nickname.

Isn't calling someone by a disparaging nickname, the same as humiliating him? Even if the name has become so familiar [that it no longer blanches the face of the person.]...Mar Zutra Bar Tuvia said in the name of Rav, although some think it was Rav Chana Bar Bizna said it in the name of Rabbi Yochanan in the name of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai: "It is better that one would throw himself into a furnace than humiliate another in public. How do we know this? From Tamar, as it is written:

24. And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar your daughter-in-law has played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by harlotry. And Judah said, Bring her out, and let her be burned.
25. When she was brought out, she sent to her father-in-law, saying, By the man, whose these are, am I with child; and she said, Discern, I beg you, whose are these, the signet, and bracelets, and staff.
26. And Judah acknowledged them, and said, She has been more righteous than I; because I did not give her to Shelah my son. And he knew her again no more.

Rav Hanana the son of Rav Iddi said: Why is it written: "Do not aggrieve one another..." (Leviticus 25:17) Do not aggrieve him with the way you carry your Torah [study] and [your adherence to] the commandments. Rav said, "Let a man be careful about aggrieving his wife, for when she cries, she is close to having been aggrieved. Rabbi Elazar said: When the Temple was destroyed the gates of prayer were locked, as it is written: "Even when I cry out and wail, my prayer has been blocked." (Lamentations 3:7) But even though the gates of prayer have been locked the gates of tears have not been, as it is written: "Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my cry; do not disregard my tears." (Psalms 39:13)

R. Hisda said: All the gates have been locked, except for the gates [through which pass the cries of] wrong [ona'ah], for it is written, Behold the Lord stood by a wall of wrongs, and in his hand were the wrongs. (Amos 7:7) R.Eleazar said: All [evil] is punished through an intermediary, except for ona'ah, for it is written, And in his hand were the ona'ah . R. Abbahu said: There are three [evils] before which the Curtain [before God] is not closed: ona'ah, robbery and idolatry. Ona'ah, for it is written, and in his hand was the ona'ah. Robbery, because it is written, Robbery and spoil are heard in her; they are before me continually. (Jeremiah 6:7) Idolatry, for it is written, A people that provokes me to anger continually before my face; [that sacrifices to idols — in gardens, and burns incense upon altars of brick]. (Isaiah 65:3)...

The Stranger as Newcomer

Genesis 15:13

And He said to Abram, Know for a certainty that your seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years;

Genesis 23:4

I am a stranger and a sojourner with you; give me possession of a burying place with you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.

Exodus 2:22

And she bore him a son, and he called his name Gershom; for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.

Leviticus 19:33

And if a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not wrong him.

Psalms 119:19

I am a stranger on earth; do not hide your commandments from me.

Your Bible Navigator

1. See how the word "stranger" is used in each verse.
2. What makes people "strange"?
3. Can one feel strange in familiar surroundings? Bring one of the verses as a proof text for your answer.
4. What makes you feel strange?

In the Talmud, they understand "stranger" to mean the same as "newcomer" i.e. someone who has chosen to join the community. In other words, someone who feels strange, but wishes to belong.

Our Rabbis taught: He who wounds the feelings of a proselyte transgresses three negative commandments, and he who oppresses him transgresses two commandments. How does wounding their feelings differ from oppressing them?

We make this distinction because three separate negative commandments are stated: You shall not wrong a stranger [i.e., a proselyte] (Exodus 23:9) And if a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not wrong him (Leviticus 19:33), and you shall not therefore wrong each his fellow man (Leviticus 25:17) -- a proselyte being included in 'fellow man.'

But for 'oppression' there are also three commandments which prohibit this," and you shall not oppress him" (Exodus 22:20), Also "You shall not oppress a stranger," (Exodus 23:9) and "[If you lend money to any of my people whom are of your poor,] you shall not take interest from him" (Exodus 22:24). which includes a proselyte! — So, say instead, that both wounding feelings and oppressing are forbidden by three commandments.

It has been taught: R. Eliezer the Great said: Why did the Torah warn against [the wronging of] a proselyte in thirty-six, or as others say, in forty-six, places? Because he may revert back to his evil ways. What is the meaning of the verse, You shall neither wrong a stranger, nor oppress him; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt? It has been taught: R. Nathan said: Do not taunt your neighbor with the blemish you yourself have. And thus the proverb runs: If there is a case of hanging in a man's family record, say not to him, 'Hang this fish up for me.'

Your Talmud Navigator

1. What are the reasons for giving the stranger (the proselyte) special consideration?
2. If stranger means proselyte, how do they understand the verse "You shall not aggrieve a stranger or oppress him, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt" (Exodus 22:20)

Maimonides Hilchot Deot--The Laws of Behavior
Chapter 6:4

The love of the stranger who has entered beneath the wings of the Divine presence is enjoined by two Biblical commandments: One because he is considered to be within the category of "reyim" (a friend) and one because he is a stranger, and the Torah states: "And you shall love the stranger..." The Holy One commanded that we should love the stranger just as He commanded that we should love Him, as it is written: And you shall love the lord your God. The Holy One himself loves the stranger, as it is written: And He loves the stranger.

Your Maimonides Navigator

1. Why all this emphasis on loving the stranger? Why is Maimonides so concerned?
2. Do you think Maimonides is drawing from the Talmudic piece we have learned?

Ways of Peace: Dealing with the Other

Mishna Gitin 59b

These are the things that are taught because they are the ways of peace. The Kohen reads the first portion and after him the Levite reads and after him the Israelite reads because of ways of peace.
(Originally, people were called up arbitrarily to be one of the seven who bless a section of the weekly Torah portion. For the sake of "ways of peace" this ruling was established.)

We make an eruv at the old house (the first house where it was done] because of ways of peace.
(There is a prohibition against carrying from a private domain to a public one on Shabbat. In a semi-private courtyard shared by two or more neighbors, a symbolic gesture was made to demonstrate that the courtyard could be used as an extension of one's private domain. This was done by placing a loaf of bread at one persons home. This ruling says that one must not switch the home where the loaf is placed, but it must be the one that is always used.)

The person closest to the cistern that is filled from the aqueduct gets to fill his jug first because of ways of peace.

Traps of wild animals, fowl and fish [if taken] can be considered stolen because of ways of peace. Rabbi Yossi says, "It is to be considered stolen on its own" [without using ways of peace for a reason].
(Because traps may be placed on land which is considered ownerless, there is a question of whether once an animal is trapped if the trapper has legitimately acquired it since he has yet to claim it with his own hand, or have it brought it into his own domain which is a necessary criterion for claiming ownership.) Rabbi Yossi claims there is no need for a decree because it is already considered robbery.

The findings of a deaf person, a mentally challenged, or a minor [if taken] are considered to be stolen because of ways of peace.
(The people listed in this case are not considered to be legally aware to make acquisitions, therefore there is a question whether robbing them of something they have found is technically considered robbery.)

Rabbi Yossi says, "It is considered stolen on its own." The poor person who cuts the olive tree top that which falls [on the ground] below is considered to be stolen because of ways of peace. Rabbi Yossi said, "It is to be considered stolen on its own".
(The poor person is entitled to "the corner " of the tree top, what happens if some branches fall from his hand and fall on the ground? Are they considered to be the property of that person or are they available for another poor person to claim?) One doesn't prevent the gentile poor from taking Leket, Shikcha, and Peah [agrarian tributes designated by the Torah for the Jewish poor.] because of ways of peace.

Your Talmud Navigator

1. Go through all the statements and see what they have in common.
2. Are there any items that do not seem to belong in this list?
3. What is the legal status of these statements? In other words, why is the reason "ways of peace" given? Why do they not say that such activity is forbidden or prohibited and leave it at that?

Gitin 61a

The Rabbis taught: One sustains the gentile poor with the Jewish poor, visits the gentile sick with the Jewish sick, and buries the gentile dead with the Jewish dead, because of ways of peace.

Your Talumd Navigator

What is the difference between the statement above and, "One doesn't prevent the gentile poor from taking Leket, Shikcha, and Peah [agrarian tributes designated by the Torah for the poor.] because of ways of peace."

How does the Talmud teach us to deal with "the other" in these statements.

Why doesn't the Talmud say that these, too, are cases of Tikkun Olam? What could be the difference between Darchei Shalom (Ways of peace) and TIkkun Olam?

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